To Walk in a Jesuit’s Shoe

Screen Shot 2014-02-05 at 10.28.54 AMYou’ve gotta love Nordstrom customer service. They are willing to tackle any market no matter how niche.

I know just how great Nordstrom customer service is because one of my first jobs after graduating from college was at Nordstrom in downtown San Francisco. One time I was scolded (very discretely, of course) by the general manager for directing a customer to the Customer Service department rather than personally walking her there.

I worked in the young men’s department, but it was well-known that if you really wanted to pull in some serious cash at Nordie’s, the place to work was the Women’s Shoes department. Nordstrom pays their sales representatives on commission (yet another reason I never made any money: I am a terrible salesman) and Women’s Shoes has a loyal customer base and a high price point.

Given all that, I was surprised to see a page on the Nordstrom website for the ‘Jesuit’ Peep Toe Leather Pump. I mean, talk about going for the wrong market. With our vow of poverty and our -ahem- unique fashion sense1, I can’t see this being a successful product. But, we strive to reach out to the margins and give everything a chance. AMDG!  So if you want to know how that turned out, I submit the following 1-star product review:

“As a Jesuit, I’ve been looking for years for just the right shoe for my day-to-day ministry, a shoe for the magis. I spend a lot of time on my feet, like standing at the altar with occasional genuflecting2, and I need a shoe that looks smart and professional whether under my ankle-length alb, or under my desk during my hours of theological study.

 

So you can imagine how thrilled I was to come across the ‘Jesuit’ Peep Toe Leather Pump. At last, I thought, footwear made for the greater glory of God!

 

Well, suffice it to say, I don’t think the designers of this shoe really thought it through. For one thing, with our vow of poverty pedicures are just out of the question. Thus I gave Mrs. McMurphy quite a fright with my large, hairy toes when I stopped by to bring her communion, rendering the peep toe a hindrance rather than a help. Furthermore, I don’t know if the designers even tried genuflecting in a pump, but I found myself with a wicked charlie horse in the one leg.

 

Finally, and I think we have to be honest, silver just isn’t an appropriate liturgical color. Ever. Gold, maybe, but never silver.

 

I suppose this shoe might work for someone3 but I really think they goofed in marketing this one to Jesuits.”

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  1. No harm intended, fellas! You were one of the top results on google.
  2. No, I’m not a priest yet, nor am I pretending to be, that would bar me from ordination! If you really believe that I wore these to write a review, I have some lakeside property to sell you.
  3. Although honestly we can’t figure out who. If you have suggestions add them to the comments

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