During my first year as a Jesuit novice, one of my favorite “experiments” was my Pilgrimage. The Jesuit Constitutions call for novices to spend a month “in making a pilgrimage without money” to help them grow in their detachment from material goods like money. It’s not meant to be easy — Ignatius is clear that during this pilgrimage, novices are intentionally meant to experience “discomfort in food and lodgings” for “love of God our Lord” (Cons. 67).
The closest thing to “advice” that I got from a Jesuit for Pilgrimage was to keep these three things in mind: accept whatever you’re given, give whatever is asked of you, and never pass up the opportunity to use a bathroom.
The purpose of the Pilgrimage is that the novice may “with genuine faith and intense love place his reliance entirely in his Creator and Lord.” Not every Jesuit novice makes a pilgrimage experiment in the same way, but all learn to rely on and grow in trust in God throughout their diverse novitiate experiences.
My novice director laid out the guidelines, which have historically alarmed many novices’ parents. I could only bring $35 cash and a one-way bus or train ticket. No phone, no credit card, and no help from family or friends allowed for 30 days. Even if I wanted to, I could not accept my dad’s offer to transport me to my desired destinations (which would have been considerably more reliable than some of the buses that I took!). I also brought a photo ID, health insurance card, and a letter from my novice director confirming that I was a Jesuit in good standing.
After praying about a possible destination for my pilgrimage and discerning with my spiritual director, I felt called to head for Buffalo, NY. Earlier that winter, I had read about the National Shrine & Basilica of Our Lady of Victory located there. The church was established by Fr. Nelson Baker, a former businessman who left his career to become a priest and made a profound difference in the Buffalo Community.
Many details of Fr. Baker’s story resonated with my own experience, especially his decision to leave a career in business to become a Catholic priest. He was tutored by Jesuits before he entered the seminary. Fr. Baker’s care for orphans, unwed mothers, and their children resonated with my high school Eagle Scout project supporting a crisis pregnancy center and my desire to care for the poor and marginalized. And finally, his strong passion for meeting the spiritual and material needs of his parishioners provided me with an ideal witness of strong works of charity anchored in a rich faith in God.
After sharing my inspiration from the witness of Fr. Baker’s story and his “City of Charity,” my Spiritual Director gave me permission to ask the Basilica if I could go there for the first stop on my pilgrimage. After confirming that I was a Jesuit in good standing, the Rector of the Basilica welcomed me. Before leaving, I got my one-way ticket from St. Paul to Buffalo and my $35 in cash.
Off to Buffalo
Things got real once my Novice Director dropped me off at St. Paul Union Depot, the local train station. My nerves set in as I looked around and realized there was no turning back for the next 30 days – I would have to rely on God to get me through this experiment. Helped by some prayer in the station and a beautiful view of the Mississippi River from the train window, I took the advice of my novice director to “trust in God’s providence to lead you.”
After 23 hours on the train, I reached Buffalo’s Depew Station, where a man named Deacon Mark was waiting to pick me up. He drove me to the Basilica, where I got a hero’s welcome. One of the priests, Fr. Paul, generously treated me to lunch and gave me a tour of Buffalo, including drives by the Jesuit works in the area.
Throughout the week, I did research in the archives, helped the parish staff with projects, served at Masses, and volunteered at an urban mission in East Buffalo.
Before going to the urban mission, I wondered how I would authentically experience “discomforts in food and lodging” if I was just treated like a VIP guest, as had been the case at the Basilica. I also began doubting if God had really called me there, or if I came to Buffalo to pursue comfort. My novice director reassured me, “remember that a lack of definitive plans also counts as ‘discomfort.’”
Because my time at the Basilica was limited, I wanted to figure out where God was calling me to go next, and how I would get there. At this point, I only had $20 on me, which was hardly enough to pay for a meal, let alone bus or train tickets out of Buffalo. I prayed about where I was called to go next, unsure about where God was directing me for my next stop.
Called to Serve in East Buffalo
On the day I was set to volunteer at the urban mission, two parishioners gave me $150. This was more than enough to go in any direction from Buffalo. I nearly wept in gratitude in the pews, thanking God for His care of me through these parishioners and the Basilica staff. In recognizing that providence was providing, as the novitiate staff told us would happen, I also grew more peaceful in realizing that the Holy Spirit would continue to guide me on my pilgrimage.
A note given to Chris by his benefactor from the Basilica.
Later that day, I was dropped off at the urban mission, St. Luke’s Mission of Mercy. Founded in the 1990s by Amy Betros and Norm Paolini, St. Luke’s is a group of lay missionaries who live out their strong Catholic faith by serving the poor. When I volunteered with St. Luke’s, they served 1,000 meals every day to residents of East Buffalo, refugees, and anyone else who needed food. They also ran a clothing drive, a halfway house, a gated community for single mothers and their children, and were planning to open a homeless shelter. Incredibly, St. Luke’s accepts no financial support from the local, state, or federal government or the Diocese of Buffalo–only private donations.
At St. Luke’s, I was impressed by the missionaries’ devotion to the Corporal Works of Mercy and their love for those they served. Equally fascinating was how every day at 3 PM, they set down all their work, pray a Chaplet of Divine Mercy in front of the Eucharist, and bring in a priest to celebrate Mass in their chapel. Before I returned to the Basilica, one of the missionaries invited me to work for another week, and the co-founder Amy offered me food and lodging in exchange for volunteering. I gladly accepted the opportunity, spending a week at St. Luke’s after leaving the Basilica.
Ironically, once I was most free to go anywhere, God seemed to be calling me to stay put in Buffalo.
On Sunday, after assisting Deacon Mark with two baptisms at the Basilica, I joined him and his family on a visit to Niagara Falls. I had long desired to visit the Falls and planned to visit there one day even if I had not entered the Jesuits. But thinking of the amazing relationships I built with Deacon Mark and his family, I realized it was so much better to visit the Falls this way, and that this was only possible because of my Jesuit vocation.
Before leaving the Basilica for good, I met a man on the street named Richard, who could not afford his $14 co-pay for his heart medication. I gave him the last $20 of my original $35. His eyes got big and filled with tears, and he immediately stood up and hugged me. I was happy to help him, and grateful for a small taste of the joy my benefactors at the Basilica must have felt.
A Journey of Grace
God was good to me for my 6 days at Our Lady of Victory, and throughout the rest of my 30-day journey through East Buffalo, Cleveland, Detroit, Ann Arbor, Chicago, La Crosse, and Minneapolis.
After arriving in Buffalo, I only missed meals when I worked through lunch, not because I lacked food or a way to get it. I never asked for cash, but received more than enough to meet my basic needs and to give to those who needed help. And even though there were times when I was turned away, I always ended up sleeping under a roof and in a bed.
Each spot provided a unique grace and helped me grow more dependent on Jesus. But I can’t help but continue to savor the way the Holy Spirit worked during my 6 days at the Basilica and Fr. Baker’s City of Charity. It reminds me how God has cared for me, is caring for me, and will continue to care for me for the rest of my life.
Our Lady of Victory, pray for us! Venerable Nelson Baker, pray for us!
A map of Chris’s pilgrimage.
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Image: National Shrine and Basilica of Our Lady of Victory. Source: Wikimedia Commons, Public Domain.