TJP’s Running Super Bowl Commentary

by | Feb 2, 2015 | In the News, Sports

Four Jesuits in three different locations joined their 120 million closest friends in watching the Super Bowl. Here is their running commentary during the game:

5:55 PM – Dixon: One of my favorite things about the Super Bowl is the predictions. Vegas takes bets on some pretty strange things. What do you all think about these:

-How long for Idina Menzel to sing the National Anthem:  O/U 2 min, 1 sec.

-How many times will “deflated balls” be referred to? O/U 2 1/2 times

-Which song will Katy Perry perform first at Halftime? Firework 3/2, Roar 3/2, This Is How We Do 5/1

I like the over on the National Anthem. Idina should really go for it.

6:19 PM – Strassburger: Idina is taking her time…will she go over 2 minutes??

6:20 PM – Strassburger: Direct quote from an elder Jesuit at Ciszek: “Francis Scott Key is turning over in his grave.”  He must have taken the under.

6:30 PM – Dixon: She is totally drawing this out! 2:04 in total. People all over America rejoice.

6:33 PM – Rossmann: The entire country is watching you, but you’re Bill Belichick… so you still wear a hoodie…

6:33 PM – Vinny: Dude, comfort bro. Relaxed fit allows his brain to expand.

6:44 PM – Vinny: Commercial update: Just went from Kate Upton to Katie Couric talking about her twerk game [shudder].

6:48 PM – Strassburger: As for football…expect to see a lot of Gronkowski tonight. 2 catches so far.

6:48 PM – Rossmann: Oh yeah, football.

6:52 PM – Strassburger: First turnover of the game stops the Pats from scoring. Not the way Brady wants to start this game: with a careless INT in the end zone. Yikes!

6:57 PM – Dixon: I can’t decide whether I’m more afraid of tackling Lynch, or playing him in Mortal Kombat.

6:59 PM – Strassburger: Worst commercial so far? Skittles? Or just give the legacy award to Kim Kardashian?

7:02 PM – Vinny: If I’m a SEA O-lineman I’m pissed that Wilson can’t get rid of the ball quicker. Credit the NE secondary. 

7:03 PM – Strassburger: Is Wilson afraid to throw after all his picks in the NFC Championship?? It does seem like his receivers are well-covered. Seahawks need more Beast Mode. 

7:12 PM – Strassburger: First blood! (That’s not a Stallone reference.) Touchdown New England! Aside from the pick, everything going the Pats way.

7:30 PM – Strassburger: 5:12 left in the second quarter: Wilson gets his first completion. Followed immediately by…

7:31 PM – Dixon: Chris Matthews playing some “hardball!”

7:34 PM – Strassburger: Big catch to set up…Beast Mode! Lynch puts Seattle on the board: 7-7 with 2:16 left in the half. Can’t wait to hear what he has to say about this after the game.

7:41 PM – Strassburger: Fiat: welcome to the US! Great blue pill commercial: got a lot of laughs in this room.

7:50 PM – Strassburger: Wow! Big touchdown to give the Pats the 14-7 edge with less than a minute left in the half. How’s the Seahawks 30-second drill??

7:57 PM – Vinny: Kick the FG. It’s a chip shot and SEA gets the 2nd half kickoff. 

7:58 PM – Vinny: And that’s why I’m a teacher for regency and not an NFL coach.

7:58 PM – Strassburger: Nice try, Coach Vinny. Carroll with a gutsy call that paid off. Is Chris Matthews the David Tyree of 2015?? Huge touchdown with 2 seconds left in the half. 14-14. We gotta game!! 

8:00 PM – Rossmann: Katy Perry time! Are you ready to roar?

8:06 PM – Dixon: I think she’s gotta go with Firework. Perfect opportunity to put on a show.

8:12 PM – Strassburger: And the winner is…”ROAR”!! And she’s riding on a giant Epcot Center lion. This is Beijing-Olympics style!

8:16 PM – Rossmann: How did she change her outfit so quickly?

8:17 PM – Strassburger: Wardrobe malfunction. Dancing sharks and singing palm trees!

8:20 PM – Vinny: Katy, you cannot dance like that with those pumps on!

8:22 PM – Rossmann: Wait, is she on a hoverboard?

8:23 PM – Strassburger: Four costumes, two cameos, crazy stage production, and all the hits. Well done, Katy. With the theatrics done, let’s get back to what has the making of a great Super Bowl finish.

8:37 PM – Strassburger: Seahawks come out firing on the first drive. The deep throw to Matthews sets up a field goal: 17-14, the Seahawks take their first lead of the game.

8:48 PM – Strassburger: A second pick from Brady! Eight minutes left in the 3rd quarter, and the Seahawks take over at midfield after the TO. Look out: the tide is turning to Seattle.

8:52 PM – Vinny: I don’t get it. Why am I surprised still when Russell Wilson scrambles out of trouble? So doggone elusive.

8:53 PM – Strassburger: Touchdown Seattle! They got a little help from the ref, who set a street-ball pick to wipe out the defender. Seattle loves the 12th man! Just like that it is 24-14. Three big possessions in a row for the Seahawks. Quick: bring out the deflated balls!

9:17 PM – Vinny: Chris Matthews’ story is almost as good as Kurt Warner’s. Non-NFL pro football, worked retail, made most of his 1 chance in the NFL.

9:19 PM – Strassburger: Woah: how about that Loctite glue commercial?!? Got my attention, and a quick Google search. Where can I get one of those fanny packs?? I already have the dance moves.

9:24 PM – Vinny: Ouch! Cam Chancellor is a heat-seeking missile. He set the tone in last year’s SB and brought the pain again.

9:27 PM – Rossmann: Touchdown Patriots! It’s a ballgame! 24-21.

9:35 PM – Strassburger: Fast forward…Patriots are getting the ball back after a quick stop. Down 3 with seven minutes to go. This is how the Super Bowl is meant to be played.

9:42 PM- Dixon: Has a Super Bowl ever gone to overtime? Waiting for Al Michaels to answer this so I don’t have to Google it.

9:45 PM – Strassburger: Brady sets a Super Bowl record for completions. Pats are in the red zone!

9:47 PM – Rossmann: The 37-year-old man just threw his 37th completion for another touchdown! 28-24, New England lead.

9:50 PM – Strassburger: Third quarter was all Seattle, the fourth has gone to the Pats. Two minute drill to decide Super Bowl XLIX.

9:51 PM – Vinny: Ballsy coverage by SEA. Press, man-to-man, no coverage over the top. And I wasn’t talking about that Victoria’s Secret commercial…

9:52 PM – Dixon: Who’s gonna be the hero? How many times can Cris Collinsworth mention Chris Matthews?

9:50 PM – Strassburger: The Catch!!! With just over one minute left, Kearse pulls a miracle out of a hat. Who needs a helmet?? What is Bill Simmons feeling right now?

9:57 PM – Vinny: He caught it!!!! Couldn’t happen to humbler fan base 😉

9:57 PM- Dixon:  Deja vu. Love the Tom Brady “You’ve gotta be kidding me” face.

10:00 PM – Strassburger: Interception New England! One yard away from a winning TD…and Seattle (gulp) throws the ball??

10:00 PM – Vinny: !!!!!! Why you no run Beast Mode???

10:01 PM- Dixon: Sports can be so crushing. What a strange decision to throw that ball by Carroll.

10:08 PM – Vinny: It seems I have classes to prep for tomorrow… Good night!

10:09 PM – Strassburger: Indescribable final sixty seconds of that game. I’ll drop the mic there.

10:10 PM – Rossmann: ‘MERICA.


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