The Gospel According to Wes Anderson

We all know that God wrote the Bible.  What this tumblr presupposes is… maybe Wes Anderson did?

And before the letters start pouring in: yes, I know that Catholic teaching doesn’t say that God wrote (you know, pen to paper) the Bible. But you try to come up with a snappy punch line for “God inspired a variety of human authors in different times and places to express what he wanted communicated through the language and conventions of their time.” So there.

But back to the main point. That’s right, I want you to imagine if Wes Anderson – director of “Rushmore,” “The Royal Tenenbaums,” “The Life Acquatic,” “Moonrise Kingdom…” – wrote the Holy Writ. What would that even look like?

Oh… I don’t know… maybe exactly like this?

Pontius Pilate by wesandersonbible.com

Life Acquatic or Luke 23

And like this:

Jacob and Isaac by wesandersonbible.com. All rights reserved.

The Royal Tenenbaums or Genesis 22

And definitely like this:

The Royal Tenenbaums or John 13 by wesandersonbible.com. All rights reserved.

The Royal Tenenbaums or John 13

In other words, the Wes Anderson Bible would take full advantage of illustrations that look like they came out of my 1st communion Picture Bible and put bright yellow Wes Anderson-y captions on them.

And there would be dioramas. Lots of dioramas.

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