NCAA vs NBA: Episode 3

Editor’s Note: This article is the third and final installment of a three part series – You can read the first and second articles in our archives.

So I’m sitting at my desk – hard at work making a hand crafted, crayon-and-construction-paper card for my mom (Happy Mother’s Day, mom!) – when I get a text from a friend who lives in Boston.  “I like your defense of the NBA playoffs,” she said, “it always baffles me when people prefer March Madness.  It’s like watching the commercials and skipping the Super Bowl.”

I could not agree more.

But, this will be a much more engaging repartee if I don’t just reprint what Rossmann wrote.  Plus it might be unethical in some vague way.  Regardless, here are my six counter-counter-points¹

1. Only three teams with a shot at the title?  Sure, I’ve got Miami penciled inked in as the East’s rep, but it could still be any of San Antonio, Memphis (yes, that’s right, I said Memphis), the irrepressible Lakers of Los Angeles or (my favorite) the Oklahoma City Zombie Sonics coming out of the West.  And, Perry, you call the NBA a bloody mess, but what about your boy Bryce Harper of MLB’s Washington Nationals?  Hitting himself in the head with a bat?  C’mon.
2. Sorry Mr. Rossmann-with-two-“nn’s”, I’m going with Perry on this one.  I loved the old 5 game first round series.  Even though the NCAA mostly just pretends to not be about the money, money, money, it’s evident to all that that’s why the 1^st round was extended to seven.  I’d go back to five in a minute and try to relive THE SHOT (sorry Cleveland).
3. As for Charles Barkley, you’re both right.  I love that guy almost as much as I do Pope B-16.  The only time I thought il papa might have to take a back seat to the Chuckster was when his broadcasting partners on TBS ate a box of hot Krispy Kreme’s in front of him and he responded, “Both of y’all are going to hell for that. Y’all are going to hell with a first-class ticket. Is that how you treat your partner? Krispy Kreme might be the greatest invention in the history of civilization when they’re hot. Y’all are cruel man.”² What a guy.
4. David Stern as Pontius Pilate or President Snow?  Both good, but what about Darth Vader?
5. Flopping. Ugh.  Just like Jeff Van Gundy, I hate the flopping. And even though there are a ton of guys who play hard in the NBA, you never see anybody in the NCAA (other than the Duke Blue Devils³) taking dives.
6. The regular season is too long.  And too painful.  So it’s here where I’d make the mandatory Mel Gibson comparison.  But – like the incarnation and passion both – it’s all worth it.

So Perry, I know you’re a tourney man, but sometimes you gotta live mas.  After all, if Jesus were in the flesh today I’m sure he’d be throwing it down.

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