Over a cup of coffee at a busy Boston College quad, a student asked me, “why does God allow nice people to get hurt?” I gently inquired whether there was any suffering in her life or if this was a question from a philosophical standpoint. She answered the latter, and we had a delightful conversation about the topic that has bedeviled believers for thousands of years.
Each Friday morning, a few Jesuits hand out coffee and cookies to students at Boston College as a way of promoting conversations between students and Jesuits. The event, known as Java with the Jesuits, involves tabling along a busy walkway and greeting students as they rush to their next class. A few pause to chat about topics ranging from Church teachings and Jesuit life to philosophy and pop culture. With fewer Jesuits in the classrooms, and many students not attending religious events, Java with the Jesuits has been a fantastic opportunity for interactions between Jesuits and the student body.
When it comes to evangelization, I believe the two key ingredients are a welcoming space and a personal invitation. A welcoming space makes people comfortable with expressing themselves and asking questions, which are important aspects of good conversation that lead to friendship. Good questions show interest in the other and also satisfy our innate curiosity about the world around us. And we know the power of personal invitation because it speaks to a deep human desire to feel a sense of belonging and being wanted.
Since arriving at Boston College (BC), I noticed the lack of casual spaces for spiritual conversations. BC has various campus ministry programs and a parish church, but college students are often anxious to enter unfamiliar spaces or go to events alien to their experience. Recalling Jesus’ exhortation to “Go into the whole world and proclaim the gospel to every creature,” I realized this was an opportunity to evangelize on a Jesuit university campus (Mark 16:15). There were people in our midst who had not heard the Gospel.
Sometimes, the conversations are more casual – but one must not underestimate the power of small talk. A student happily confided in me that she was getting confirmed in the Catholic Church, and wanted me to pray for her. Another time, a student exclaimed, “I had never met a Jesuit in real life!” and shook my hand. I was glad that I helped check off something on his bucket list. Such mundane conversations can be part of a pleasant day, and we are better off with it rather than going through our day in lonely silence.
Other times, students have trusted me with their deepest private reflections and most pressing questions. “What should I do with my life?” asked a senior who seemed unsure about what life had in store after graduation. Would his job provide his life with sufficient meaning or would his work merely be a means to some unknown end, he questioned. At some point, we all wonder about the meaning of life. At the same time, we feel vulnerable to voice it out loud worrying that there may be no good answer or that we are the only ones who haven’t yet figured it out. Perhaps then, a warm smile from a Jesuit offering cookies helps the students overcome their anxieties to reveal the questions swirling deep within.
A cup of coffee can even be the ideal way for students to ask hard questions about church teaching that can often hinder their relationship with the institutional church. When thorny topics such as pro-life teaching or the sex abuse crisis arise, it is important to listen carefully and answer the questions honestly. While such inquiries are important, the goal of the conversation is to build relationships with others and with Jesus. We need to build trust through good conversation, such that our faith can be discussed in a warm and positive environment.
International students also enjoy these conversations as a way to learn more about the new culture around them. “Are Jesuits Christian? I have been here for two years and haven’t had the chance to ask anyone,” an international student exclaimed. As an international student many years ago, I am grateful for Saint Paul’s Outreach who helped integrate me into the Catholic community and experience many aspects of American culture. I first met this Catholic student group on campus when they tabled at the student fair inviting students to their coffee hours and ultimate frisbee games.
Growing up in a traditional culture in India, I did not have the opportunity to speak with priests informally. Questioning doctrine and belief was perceived as mischief and strongly discouraged. Following an information glut initially precipitated by cable TV, and then by the internet, many of my high school friends were unsure how to navigate questions about their faith and its relevance in today’s society. And so, they slowly drifted away from the faith. I wish we had stronger relationships with mentors in the faith with whom we could have shared our existential questions. Perhaps if my friends had been provided with a casual space to have coffee and conversation, they might have had someone to turn to when they had crises of faith instead of abandoning God altogether.
In the Constitutions of the Society of Jesus, St. Ignatius writes that Jesuits must “endeavor to benefit individual persons in spiritual conversations, giving counsel and exhorting to good works, .. “ [648] He was proposing this norm in the context of how Jesuit communities ought to benefit their neighbors by preaching the word of God. For those already counted among the faithful, spiritual conversation can help strengthen their faith. For others, a friendly conversation can help lay the groundwork before one can begin preaching the Gospel. People are more likely to listen to the Gospel if they have an amicable connection with the preacher.
Deep and meaningful conversations don’t happen at every interaction with students at Java with the Jesuits. We should not take things personally when students ignore us because they may be busy or uninterested. However, despite these minor setbacks, we must strive to create a space for the times when they might be interested, or perhaps even planting a tiny seed about the friendliness of the Church that will germinate in the future. We must persevere in the face of apparent failure because Jesus commanded us to preach His word to all creatures at all times. With faith the size of a mustard seed, we trust that God will use our friendly greeting as the starting point of a great conversion story.
Above all, we ought to be motivated by a love that moves us to share with others the highest good we have received, our faith in Jesus. The love for our neighbor inspires us to share our Catholic faith with others because it is the greatest treasure we possess. That means engaging in small talk and friendly conversations in the hopes of sharing the Gospel with others – and maybe a little bit of free coffee as a conversation starter.
